dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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