Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
