we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
