he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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