I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
