Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
