Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
