So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
