so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
