I got chris browned last night
I'm eating all of the evidence.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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