if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
