Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
