We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
pray to the hookup gods
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
