I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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