I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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