He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
