After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
