i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
