we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
