May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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