Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
