I'm gonna have a badass scar
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
