Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
