ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
