Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
