I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize