they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
