sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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