WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
