I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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