you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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