I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
