I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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