i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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