you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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