Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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