I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
