I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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