coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
