I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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