you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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