I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
