guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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