you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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