went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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