God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i think i have two assholes
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
