I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
