I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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