I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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