Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
