i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Shame - the story of my life.
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